Bisexuality as a safety factor?

I may not know much about homosexual culture, but I have a feeling that by 1972 gays were still relatively very oppressed and closeted.

Reading The Happy Hooker, she once had a client who was a 29-year old virgin. He had been in therapy for 12 years, for sexual whatever. BUT, the only sexual act he had performed was fellatio on a college mate, which he never admitted to his therapist.

But, the shrink had sent him to the brothel, where she showed him pictures of females havign sex with males and females, as well as naked men (maybe even men on men). When asked which he preferred, he said "'The men,' he said. 'I would feel much safer in a homosexual relationship because it doesn't represent such a big responsibility and obligation.' But he was turned off by the gay world in general--the gay bars, the faggot-looking drag queens at gay parties, and the heavy emotional involvement because homosexual affairs can be more dramatic than heterosexual ones after a while." (Hollander, 171) Then, she had mind-blowing sex with him, as he wasn't turned off by women.

To me, this is a significant statement, especially back in those times. To choose homosexuality when major oppression, shame, and fear was prevalent is an odd choice, especially for said reasons.

Of course, this also rings true as to why I chose bisexuality in the first place (now its because it is fun both ways). I used to be scared of women (which has developed into a healthy amount of anger aimed at weak people), and so chose homosexuality because of the easy relating, the understanding (thats a joke), and the ease of sex. Everybody knows that, in general, men are easier to lay at random than women. Though cases exist in both cases.

Another reason I tried men was because they were strong, mechanical, and not-helpless. Thus, I didn't relate to the gay culture like the afore mentioned storyboy. I still don't, to a point. I "get" quite a bit of it, but there is the overly-femme crowd whom I don't comprehend, much like the women.

BUT, I grew up in an enlightened family. We have a gay cousin somewhere in our wings, but I'm not sure exactly how he's related. He's definately of the flame quality though. The women in my family were self-sufficient, especially since my mom would fight with my dad over how to put together a computer or how to construct the basement. And not in that femme naive way. My mother lays tile, and one of my aunts is an electrician. I grew up in a family where only the one woman who married in (for every generation, one male will be born), as well as my half-sister who didn't show up until I was in 5th grade, would ever be considered helpless and not mechanical. Thus, my skewed world view.

So, now you're wondering why I haven't come out as bi? Well, its mainly because its somewhat easier than having my mother try to hook me up with girls so I won't go out with guys. Its also that I feel my mother would not understand the need for me to steadily see other men when I also like women. I think she knows, but she hasn't asked, so I don't feel like telling. If I was gay, then I would definately be coming out, but I am not.

Well, if that wasn't a side track, I don't know what was. :-)

Times haven't changed much in some people's eyes since 1972. Gays still have oppressive forces (see previous post), though not nearly as strong as it used to be, and a general ostrich syndrome pervades much of American culture. A forty-year difference between myself and the afore mentioned bisexual man and the same mentality prevails. Just some random thoughts...