Making flippy floppy

Top stories:
1)US declares Fallujah
2)Fighting in Mosul
3)6 Bush Cabinet Members leave (including Michigan's own Spencer Abraham)
4)Matthew Shepard hoax revealed?

1) So, the US has declared victory in Fallujah. Yet gunfire rings out from, well, everywhere. They have declared 1000-1600 killed, though relatively few bodies. Ah well, the bodies up and went to

2) Mosul! There, the insurgents have conquored police stations and various other buildings in the Army's absence. Well, not quite absence as they have decided to drop 500-lb bombs in Mosul. Probably without warning. Good bye civilians. Fare thee well.

3) And, between fight or flight, it seems there is a mass exodus from the White House. John Ashcroft, everybody's favorite slimeball, kicked off the ceremonies last week. Joining him for the unofficial start was Commerce secretary Don Evans. Colin Powell, the resident token Black Man and veritable puppet, continued the ceremonies by announcing his leave. Spencer Abraham, sectretary of Energy and Michigan reject, fled as quickly as he could. Education secretary Rod Paige, and Agriculture secretary Ann Veneman have kept the race going. 6 people have left the cabinet so far. Color me scared.

4) 20/20 will air on November 26th a new report that Matthew Shepard, homosexuality's hate crime poster boy, was not beaten because he was gay but just because it was a burgled robbery. I can't wait, namely because I saw The Laramie Project on HBO last night for the first time, and I believe that all the words in that project were exactly what was said. If that was the case, then the whole defense was that he was targeted because of his sexuality. I should see if the court records are open. Anybody know anything about that?